While You're Sleeping
by greysanataddict
Summary: Merder one shot. 5x01 "AU". What I wanted to happen.


_"What happened!" She stormed in, panic in her eyes. She was out of breath. Her hair a complete mess, curls everywhere. Clutching her phone in her right hand._

_"There was a bus and it swerved and there was a pole.. He tried to swerve to miss it." Cristina gripped onto Meredith's shoulders, trying to calm her down. Knowing this wouldn't go over well._

_"How bad is it!" Her eyes moving back and forth. Her voice was shaky. She kept looking between Cristina and the chief, needing comfort._

_"Meredith-" The chief and Cristina tried to intrude. She was still gripping onto Meredith. The sound of the machine, showing there was no pulse on the monitor._

_"Meredith, you're going to have to be strong..." Cristina released Meredith._

_She walked over to he window. "Derek!" She screamed. Her breathing was getting heavier. Tears started streaming down her face like raindrops on a window. Her hand smacking the window, looking in on her coding boyfriend. _

_"No.. No! Derek! No!" She pleaded, trying to will him to come back to her. "Derek!" She continued to cry. _

_Dr. Bailey released the breathing tube in his throat and turned off the monitor, his corpse laying there. _

_"Derek!" She screamed between her body- shaking cries. "Derek!" Her hand slamming the window again. And all that was left was silence._

She jolted out of her deep sleep, remembering the horrible nightmare she had just had. She got off the gurney and ran back to work, tying up her hair.

She entered the nurses station and was greeted by Cristina. "What the hell happened to you?" Meredith didn't respond, her only response was her eyes eyes burning through Derek's skin, reassuring herself that he was here and _alive._

"You had another one Mer?" Concern now evident on Cristina's face. "Mer, talk to me."

Derek felt eyes on him. Not just any eyes, the piercing green eyes that belonged to a very petite blond. He turned his gaze to her. A small smile played on his lips at the site of her. She looked off, well no she looked beautiful but there was something off. He walked away from the computer and walked over to her.

"Hey." He offered her a smile. "Wanna..." he motioned his head over to the hallway and she started walking towards there, he followed suit.

They got to the hallway. They were facing each other. She wrapped her arms around his neck and nested her chin in the crook of his shoulder. They'd never really shown PDA in the hospital, he was taken back by it but wrapped his arms around her middle anyway.

They held each other for a moment and then she pulled away. "Hi." She replied with an attempt at a smile. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. "You're tense." He stated.

"I'm okay. Just glad to see you." she looked into his ocean blue eyes and her heart fluttered.

"So-" the said at the same time. She let out a nervous laugh and looked down at her shoes.

"I ended it. But you should know that I'm in a relationship." A smirk on his lips.

Her head jolted up. He reached out to her cheek and caressed it, giving her that McDreamy look he knew would make her flutter.

"So I've heard." she replied playfully. She pressed her hand to his chest, effectively separating their distance. "Derek."

He smiled again, he couldn't help himself with her. Apparently his smile was contagious, a smile spread across her face. "Yes."

"I think..l uh, we should, uh, would you-"

He couldn't help but stifle a laugh, she was so cute when she stuttered. she slapped his arm with an attempt at a pouting face.

"Stop it! I was, what I wanted to ask was..." She huffed, frustrating herself. _This isn't such a big deal just ask him damn it. _She pouted again. "Move in with me." Was all that left her blushed, her nervousness showing.

He smiled again. "Okay." was all he said. He leaned in to kiss her when his pager went off. He pulled away. "Damn it 911. I gotta go. Lunch?"

"Okay." she offered a smile.

He leaned in and kissed her and the was off down the hallway again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Can I get a chicken caesar salad please." It was lunch time and after Derek ran to an emergency consult he came to the cafeteria. He turned around, looking to hopefully find Meredith but no sight. He handed the cashier a ten dollar bill when he felt eyes on him.

Meredith was making her way over to the line when she found Derek. He turned around and smiled at her when he caught vision of her eyes on him. He waved her over.

"I got your favorite." He gestured towards a ham and cheese sandwich.

She smiled. "Thank you." heading towards a table.

He shook his head and headed to the cat walk.

She followed suit, straight into his office. She sat down at the cough and he followed.

"When." He didn't ask, but stated and she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Well I have tomorrow off so why don't you just spend the night and then we can grab your things tomorrow."

"Or we can just stay the night at my trailer and then pack tomorrow and bring it over to your house?" He stabbed his fork into a piece of lettuce and put it in his mouth.

She nodded her head while finishing the process of chewing her sandwich. "Okay that's fine."

He laughed, _she's so adorable when she's eating food._ "What time are you done today."

"Well my shift ends at six, how about you?"

"Perfect. I'm off at six too so I'll just meet you in the resident's locker room." he took a sip of his sweet tea.

"okay sounds good." She bit into her other half of her sandwich just as her pager went off. "Damn." She quickly grabbed her white coat and stood.

"Thank you for lunch." She smiled at him and bent down but he then stood.

He towered over her. His strong hands immediately on her arms. He looked into her eyes and she melted under them. He leaned down and their lips met. She involuntarily dropped her coat and ran her fingers through his hair. His hands found her hips as his tongue found hers. She moaned and as their tongues dueled with each other. She pulled on his coat, bringing him down to her as her legs gave in an she could no longer stand on her tip toes.

They broke away with a heavy breath, gasping for air. Her cheeks turned to a rosy red.

"I should go, I'll see you in a couple hours." She pointed towards the door and backed away.

"Okay... I._ love you._ have to finish up in some paper work so.. Six o clock." he nodded and she was gone.

He sat down on the couch and let out a sigh. He couldn't say it, not now, it wouldn't be fair to her. He thought back to the night after prom.

_"Hi." He entered the kitchen, his hands in his pocket._

_she looked up from the dishes. "Hi." _

_He let out a sigh, "I was gonna come over this morning but uhh-" _

_"I heard." She cut him off. "The quarantine." She walked over to the table in front of him, picking up a red towel._

_She cleared her throat out of nervousness and put the towel back down, making eye contact with him. She sighed, "So... What does this mean."_

_He looked back at her with his sparkling blue eyes. _

_"It means you have a choice. You have a choice to make." He offered her a small smile._

_"And I don't want to rush you into making a decision before you're ready."_

_Her eyebrows furrowed._

_"This morning I was gonna come over... And what I was going to say, what I wanted to say... But now all I can say is, I'm in love with you." He couldn't help but smile at the thougnt of being in love with her, the thought of her. _

_"I've been in love with you for.. Ever." He smiled even wider. "I'm a little late. I know I'm a little late in telling you that."_

_A small smile played on her lips at the thought of someone loving her, but not just anyone, Derek. _

_"I just want you to take your time, take all the time you need. Because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I chose wrong."_

_Tears stung her eyes, she was breathing heavy. the overwhelming emotion coming from both her and him. It took all the strength she had to not say yes to him right then and there. _

_He smiled again and sighed, "alright," he breathed. "Goodnight." And then he was gone._

He smiled. He knew that he meant it when he said it five months ago, and he never didn't mean it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I have my pager, my purse and my... Crap where's my phone?" Meredith was finally off her shift and was getting ready to leave when Derek was walking in.

"Talking to yourself again?" He smirked. He moved from the door frame that he was leaning against and walked over to the bench she was sitting on.

"shut up." She looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "Aha, here it is." She put her phone in her purse and stood.

"Ready to go?"

She brushed a strand of hair out of her face and nodded. They walked put the locker room together, side by side.

_Do I grab her hand?_

_Do I grab his hand?_

They walked in silence towards the elevator when they both looked up at each other and smiled, their hands locking immediately.

Her hand fit perfectly in his hand, like always. Familiar and safe.

Derek pressed the elevator button and smirked at her. The fond memory of the first time they rode an elevator alone crossed his mind and he hoped that when the doors would open that they would find it vacant.

The door opened, the odds in his favor when they found it empty. they stepped in, their hands still locked together when he turned to her.

She recognized that look. the one he gave her that made her want to jump him right then and there, the one that made her wet in a second, the one that made her knees weak. She bit her lip and looked up into his eyes, the intensity throwing her off.

Next thing he knew, her fingers were running through his hair and he was pressing her against the elevator wall as his tongue thrusted into her mouth, their moans making the moment more passionate.

His hands wandered to the small of her back as her leg wrapped around his. Her hands moved to his cheeks as her tongue fought with his. His hands then moved up to her hair as his lips moved down to her neck. She tilted her neck back, giving him more access as she fell into their world of bliss and lust. "Uhh." She moaned.

The elevator dinged, notifying them they were in the lobby. She fixed her button down shirt and ran her hands through her hair, calming it down.

He looked down at her and smirked, grabbing her hand as they walked out of the elevator towards the lobby doors.

"So how was your day?"

"It was long. But the last ten minutes definitely helped." She bit her lip again. _Hot and bothered, he always did have that affect._ She let out a little laugh. "How about yours?" She squeezed his hand.

"I did a lot of paperwork, but I agree, last ten minutes definitely helped." He opened the passenger door for her and she slid in. He shut the door and ran to his side.

She let out a giggle. "So, we really should discuss this."

He nodded. "I agree."

"So, you really want to do this?" she scratched at her nose.

"Yes. Why? I hope you aren't having second thoughts but I would be okay with that." He looked at her.

"No I just want to make sure you're sure. I'm trying Derek, really trying. I don't want to lose you, I _can't _lose you. I don't plan on going anywhere, as long as you don't. I just.. I'm.. I," she huffed in frustration. "I want there to be an us, Im working towards there, I've never experienced this or happiness for one so I just, I dont really know how to do this."

He smiled at her words. She can't lose him. "you've never done this before." He nodded. "It's okay, we will work through it. I'm proud of you, I just wanted you to know that."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith shivered as she stepped into the trailer.

"Cold?" Derek followed behind her into the trailer and immediately went to the thermostat and turned the heat on.

She walked into the bedroom and found his dresser instantly. She opened his pj drawer and grabbed an oversize Bowdoin shirt.

He watched her as she stripped down to her underwear and bra, unhooking her bra and putting on the oversized shirt. He smirked.

She slid under the covers on her side and buried herself in the pillows.

"comfortable?" He joked with her,ca smirk on his face. He walked over to the open drawer and grabbed a pajama shirt and stripped to his boxers, pulling the shirt over his head.

He found her waist and pulled her close when he laid down in bed. Their bodies fit perfectly together.

"I could get used to this." She sighed.

"You better." He kissed the spot behind her ear that drove her crazy.

She let out a yawn and snuggled closer into Derek's body. "It was a long day." She yawned again.

"Get some sleep, I'll be here when you wake up." He ran his fingers through her hair, lulling her to sleep.

She yawned one last time. "Goodnight Der."

His heart clenched at how she shortened his name like she used to. "Goodnight Mer."

Her breathing evened and she fell asleep, he followed shortly after.

_xxxxx_

_She walked over to he window. "Derek!" She screamed. Her breathing was getting heavier. Tears started streaming down her face like raindrops on a window. Her hand smacking the window, looking in on her coding boyfriend._

_"No.. No! Derek! No!" She pleaded, trying to will him to come back to her. "Derek!" She continued to cry._

_Dr. Bailey released the breathing tube in his throat and turned off the monitor, his corpse laying there._

_"Derek!" She screamed between her body- shaking cries. "Derek!" Her hand slamming the window again. And all that was left was silence._

_"_Derek! No! No!" She tossed and turned, tears streaming down her face.

"Meredith, Meredith! I'm right here it's okay." He shook her awake.

Her eyes opened, they were red and blotchy. She let out a startled breath and cried again. her hands found his shoulders and she buried her face in his chest.

He held her close, the sobs racking her entire body. He ran his hand in circles on her back while making a soothing sound to calm her. "I'm here. You're okay. I'm okay. _We're _okay."

She finally looked up at him and spend she did his heart broke for her.

"How long." he stated, waiting for a response.

"Since you left to break things off with Rose." She sniffed.

He shifted them so that she was laying down on the pillows and he was hovering over her.

"So not to often." He stated again, waiting for her to confirm.

She looked up at him, nothing.

"Oh Mer." He ran his fingers through her hair and caressed her tear stained cheeks.

"I have them every time I close my eyes. Whether I'm at home, in the on call room or in the basement on a gurney." She admitted, a fresh set of tears stinging her eyes.

"What are they about?"

"You." she stated, his heart dropped.

"When you left to tell rose and you asked me to wait there, I did. And the. I got a phone call from Cristina at the hospital, she wouldn't tell me anything. I drove in and ran to the ER... You.. You.." the tears spilled out of her eyes and she covered her face, tilting herself into his chest. "You were laying on the table, Bailey and Mark were performing CPR. After so long, Bailey gave up and called time of death." Her body racked from her cries and she was now gripping onto his shirt... Wanting him there, _needing _him there.

"Meredith, I'm right here, it's okay I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." he made soft cal i g sounds and rubbed her back in circles, trying to calm her down.

"You don't know that!" She cried. "You could be here one moment and dead the next! I don't want to lose you, I _can't _lose you." She wiped a tear away.

"Listen to me Mer, I can't promise that nothing will happen, but I will be hear for you , I will never leave you. I promise that."

She looked up at him, "I'm scared as hell to be with you." She admitted. "Every time something good happens I. My life that makes me believe I can be happy... It gets taken away from me. And you, you make me happy." She nestled her head into the crook of his neck.

"Oh Meredith, you make me happy too. I'm so proud of you, I really am. I never thought that you would have done the candle thing in a million years, it was so romantic and I just, I'm so proud of you, I know you're scared but I will spend the rest of my life trying to drive away the fear from you." he kissed her, soft and sweet.

she looked up at him, the redness in her eyes still evident, but fading. "I trust you." Was all she said, that's all she had to say that he knew would make everything okay eventually.

"I'm right here. You can sleep now, I'm not letting go of you, I'll protect you." He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arm around her waist.

He stroked her hair, lulling her back to sleep, her breathing evening. Once she was finally asleep, he could not hold the words in any longer. "I'm in love with you Meredith. I love you."

He closed his eyes, falling asleep too. Just as he was about to fall into a deep sleep, Meredith shifted in his arms so that she was facing him.

Her hands found his hair. "Derek."

He opened his eyes,Cher piercing blue ones staring into his. "I'm in love with you too." was all she said and he could've sworn he felt his heart thudding in him, growing.

She tucked her head in his chest while he held her as she fell back asleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning she woke to the light. The space next to her was empty, panic immediately filling her and the thoughts of last night coming back into her mind. She looked around, her eyes bouncing on all different objects.

"Hey." He peered out of the bathroom.

She took a deep, shaky breath. "Hi."

He walked back over to the bed and climbed on top of her, hovering over her. "Are you okay."

She let out a little giggle and a soft smile. "Right now, I'm more than okay." She referred to the way he was hovering over her.

"I can make you feel even more than okay if you'd like." He smirked, pressing his lips on hers.

"Oh really? What did you have in mind?" She played.

"Well I have a few ideas." And with that, he rolled her over so that she was on top of him and then again so she was on the bottom.

She let out giggles, trying to breathe. "Hmm, I missed this."

He willed himself to pull his lips away from her neck. "You have no idea."

She cleared her throat and he knew she had questions. He looked up at her and she covered her face.

"No, no no I'm killing the mood!" she shook her head and scolded herself.

He laughed at her. "Mer, just say it it's okay, I promise the mood will come back the moment you're done saying whatever it is you need to say... You have that effect on me did you know that?"

She scoffed. "Ass."

"Ahh it's so good to hear that again you have no idea. But seriously Mer, spill."

she removed her hands from her face and looked at him with an _are you sure_ look. He nodded in response.

"When you were with Rose... Did you ever..." She bit her lip, this was making her uncomfortable but she needed to know.

"Never."

She was shocked, he could tell by the look on her face. She would've expected him to especially since they were dating for over a month. "I...really?" Her eyebrows furrowed. "You dont have to lie to me, I can take it, I'd underst-"

"Meredith, I promise you. Nothing like that ever happened." He cut her off before she got into a heavy ramble.

She let out a laugh, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry really I believe you I'm just... I would've thought." She kept laughing.

Though this wasn't really a laughing matter to him. He cleared his throat and she stopped laughing. They looked into each other's eyes and she wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling.

"I didn't have sex with arose because I couldn't. I didn't want to anyway. theres really only one woman I intend on getting in her pants." He smirked and she slapped the back of his head.

"Really Derek, it was so romantic and then you had to say that."

"It's true. I only want to have sex with you, or make love to you for that matter." he brushed a strand of hair away.

She blushed. "Derek..." She pulled him down to her and their lips collided. Need and want filled the room. Her tongue thruster in his mouth as he ran his hands through her hair.

"Please." Was all it took for him to practically rip her clothes off. She followed suit and pulled his shirt off of him.

"You just **had** to put on jeans didn't you..." She emphasized her frustration.

The jeans now fell to the floor on top of the pile of clothing as he moved his lips down her neck, to her chest, taking a nipple in his mouth.

Chills came over her body and she involuntarily moaned. Her hands found his hair as he moved his mouth to her other nipple, sucking and tugging, making her wince.

His lips moved down to her core and she rolled her head back screaming as his tongue worked on her center.

His tongue kept thrusting in and out of her core and she screamed, "oh god yes..." She let out another screaming moan as her orgasm came in waves over her.

He smirked at her body as it twitched in pleasure. He moved his lips back to hers, she could taste herself on his lips.

"Der.." She moaned, her eyes squeezing shut as yet another wave came over her.

He entered her and she squirmed. "Oh my god." She bit her lip, staring into his deep blue eyes. The intensity of his eyes making her more hot.

He growled as he slowly moved in and out of her. "Oh god Mer."

"Derek... Der... Der..." She moaned.

He continued moving torturously slow in her, leaning down to kiss her slow and sensually.

Meredith tightened around him and her orgasm rode as he spilled into her. She screamed and squirmed, trying to catch her breath.

He followed after her. They came down from their orgasms and he laid on top of her, still connected inside of her. He just laid there, holding her and caressing her cheeks.

She smiled up at him. "I really missed you Derek." She smiled and his heart skipped a beat.

"I missed you too Meredith." He shook his head in disbelief, a smirk playing on his head.

"What?" She blushed.

"If someone told me ten years ago that I would've ended up in Seattle and fallen in love with a woman I had a one night stand with that ended up working at the same hospital as me... I would've never believed it. Nor would I have believed that this woman I fell in love with would be so remarkably beautiful and imperfectly perfect." He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and rolled off of her but pulling her near.

"Derek..." a tear stung her eye. "If you say this after every time we have sex I might just die." She blushed, laughing her tears out of her eyes.

He wiped her tear away, "I told you I'm going to make you happy, you better accept the truth and believe me when I tell you you're beautiful."

"That was perfect sex. It's always perfect with you." She brushed her hands on his firm chest.

"Making love."

"What?" She looked up at him.

"I was making love to you, we were making love." His lips brushed against her cheek bone.

Meredith's breath hitched in her throat, leaving her speechless. "I... I... Love you." She finally breathed it out.

"I love you too." he tangled his hand in her hair and pulled her in for a breathtaking kiss.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay, I think that's the last box." He placed it in the trunk and shut it.

"Good." She smiled. He turned around and grabbed her face, caressing it. "Why don't you say we take a walk like old times?" He smiled at her.

"Okay." He grabbed her hand and their fingers intertwined.

They walked silently towards their trail that they took every time they walked Doc. Meredith had a smile playing on her lips, just the thought of moving forward with Derek made her happy. Derek caught vision of her smile and couldn't help but smile as well. She turned to face him.

"What are you smiling about?" She smiled even wider.

He untangled their hands and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him, needing to feel that skin to skin contact. "You."

"Corny Derek , really corny." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh c'mon! You have to give me a little roaming room here." He laughed.

"No it's corny!" She played back. "You are such a five year old." She crossed her arms over her front.

"Well I do like my fair share of toys and playing around." He smirked and raised an eyebrow at her.

She looked away, over to the fairy boats when she felt her world shift... Literally.

"Put me down!" She squealed, hitting Derek's shoulders and arms. He lifted her up and was now running in all different directions.

"Derek seriously! I'm getting dizzy!" she squealed again. He set her down. _  
_

_Dumbass. _She turned and smirked at him then ran off, giggling. "Come and get me!"

"Oh you're so gonna get it!" He yelled after her.

She ran down their path and behind a tree, no less than five seconds later did Derek come into her vision, he was running everywhere. She covered her mouth, trying not to laugh. He vanished out of her sight and she ran back to the big field when she was knocked over.

She screamed in shock and fear that she'd hit her head. _Not like I'm not dating someone who doesn't know how to fix them._ She laughed at her thought. She felt a big hand under her head and then there was Derek, on top of her and hovering over her.

"I got you." He smirked.

"You've got me." She smiled, her chest rising up and down quickly as she tried to catch her breath.

He gave her their look and all she could do was tug at his jacket and pull his lips down to hers. She had no doubt in her mind that moving in would be a good idea. Especially with the man she loved.


End file.
